Since my last post about dating and social media, I’ve been doing a lot of thinking. (Dangerous, I know.) And it seems to me the issue just grows and expands the more I look at it. Today I can’t stop thinking about The Great Divide. You know, that chasm that exists between your online and offline worlds.
Okay okay, I can hear the protests now. Your online life is your real life. There is no divide. The two are seamlessly integrated in your perfect world. Your twitter buddies skip happily down the lane holding hands with your friends from high school. Wait, what’s that? They don’t? I thought not.
I will admit that for a select few, maybe their worlds are merged. Maybe you have achieved harmony and balance. But for the majority of us, I’d be willing to believe we are playing a Jekyll and Hyde kind of game with online and off. I am not implying that anyone is ashamed of their status in our fishbowl or that we are actively hiding who we are and what we do. I’m just saying that for most of us, there are two categories of people. Those who are online (and inherently get it) and those who are off (and usually don’t). And as a rule, never the twain shall meet.
There are gray areas in my little hypothesis too. It is not neat and tidy. For example, I have two very dear friends who I met in Second Life. We have traveled to each other’s homes, we talk constantly, we share details about all aspects of our lives. These are real people with whom I have a real relationship. But they are still my online friends. And my friend who I’ve known since Girl Scouts understands these two ladies are dear to me, would meet them and hang out with them, but will never quite grasp how it is they became important in my life.
I have offline friends who know about my podcast. I have online friends who know my street address. And both groups would have a conversation with me about any aspect of my life. I am not ashamed of who I am in any arena and I am not afraid to share with people. But with my online friends I see that topics tend towards online things, and with my offline friends I see that we keep mostly away from that. And therein lies the divide.
I am finding more and more that is rare to find people who bridge the divide. It does not mean those connections are less real but somehow they remain contained to their original form. To attempt to stretch them would cause strain and ruin personal dynamics. And so most people tend to stay on their side of the chasm. Online or offline. Apples and oranges.
This all jumps into sharp relief for me as I realize I have met a rare friend recently. The true hybrid. The bridge over The Great Divide. He geeks out in different ways, but is genuinely interested in my online life. He happily listens to conversations about my microphone, my Second Life adventures, or my social networking stories. He wants me to introduce him to virtual worlds and show him what they look like to me. He knows where I live, what I do for a living, how many times I’ve been divorced, what my avatar looks like, and what kind of mixer I have. He thinks it’s cool. And every time we move from chatting about a mutual acquaintance to chatting about virtual worlds, I am always startled by how effortlessly one flows in to the other. He is a rare type and I am both fascinated by and grateful for him.
So how about all of you. Do you see The Divide in your lives, or have you found ways to bridge it completely? Do you have friends on both sides? Have you ever met a bridge? Do you feel this division in your life, or do you think I’m ranting on about nothing? I’m interested in how other people feel about this.
